The Courage To Choose Yourself

How Much Do You Value Your Life?

We often go through life without truly assessing how much we value our own existence. Sure, we take the usual precautions—locking our doors, eating healthily, avoiding risky behaviours—but when push comes to shove, do we really know where we draw the line? Do we truly grasp the worth of our own lives? Sometimes, life presents us with situations that force us to ask difficult questions about our values, choices, and the very essence of what it means to live authentically.

Would You Die for Something You Believe In?

One of the most profound questions you could ever ask yourself is, “Would I die for something I believe in?” History is filled with individuals who faced this question head-on: people who stood up for their beliefs, often risking everything, including their lives. From activists like Martin Luther King Jr. to suffragettes who fought for women's rights, they knew the risks but chose to act anyway. They valued their lives, but they also valued their principles, their vision of a better world. They didn’t have a death wish; they just valued their cause even more.

But would you do the same? Would you put your life on the line for a belief, a cause, or an idea? It’s easy to say “yes” in theory, but when faced with the reality of danger, fear, and uncertainty, many of us might hesitate. This isn’t about courage alone; it’s about truly knowing what you hold dear and deciding what you are willing to lose for it.

The Illusion of Choice: Do You Really Have One?

Imagine this: You’re told you must consume something that you know is dangerous, with a very real possibility of harm or even death. The catch? If you refuse, you’ll be cut off from interacting with the rest of the world—your friends, your family, your community. The pressure is intense, the stakes are high. You might think you don’t have a choice. But is that really true?

Often, we tell ourselves we have no choice because the alternative seems too difficult, too lonely, or too uncertain. But the truth is, there is always a choice. Not all choices are easy, but they are there, nonetheless. Choosing to protect yourself, even when it means going against the grain, is still a choice. Standing up and saying “no” in the face of coercion is still a choice. It’s not about defying the world for the sake of it; it’s about valuing yourself enough to prioritise your well-being, even when it feels like you’re standing alone.

Everyday Decisions That Test Our Values

You might think this is all too dramatic and far removed from your everyday life, but these scenarios aren’t as rare as you think. Life constantly throws us tests of how much we truly value ourselves, our principles, and our sense of autonomy. Consider these examples:

1. Peer Pressure and Harmful Behaviours: Have you ever felt compelled to try something dangerous just to fit in? Maybe it’s drinking excessively, experimenting with drugs, or engaging in reckless behaviour. You know it’s risky, yet the fear of being ostracised pushes you to consider it.
2. Work Environments and Ethics: Imagine being in a job where you’re asked to do something that goes against your morals—lying to clients, cutting corners, or compromising on safety standards. You need the paycheck, but at what cost? Is the sacrifice of your integrity worth the reward?
3. Toxic Relationships: Sometimes, we stay in harmful relationships because the idea of being alone feels scarier than the reality of staying. We convince ourselves that we have no other option, that enduring the pain is better than the uncertainty of walking away. But is this really valuing yourself, or is it settling for less than you deserve?
4. Health Choices Under Pressure: Think about the subtle and not-so-subtle pressures to engage in unhealthy behaviours, whether it's eating poorly, neglecting sleep, or avoiding helth and wellness advice because it’s inconvenient. We often put our health at risk simply because the alternative seems too hard, too lonely, or too isolating.

The Courage to Choose Yourself

The common thread in all these situations is the need to ask yourself: How much do I value my life? What am I willing to sacrifice, and what will I refuse to compromise on? Your life has intrinsic value, and so does your right to make choices that honour your well-being, even when those choices are difficult.

When you find yourself feeling trapped, remember that you do have a choice. It may be the harder path, the less popular one, but it’s there. Choosing yourself is the most profound declaration of self-worth you can make.

Reflect on your life. Are you living in alignment with your values, or are you sacrificing too much to fit in, to be accepted, or to avoid discomfort?

Your life is yours to value. Don’t let anyone, or any situation, convince you otherwise.

For more reflections and guidance on navigating life’s tough choices, drop me an email to enquire about my therapeutic coaching sessions. [email protected] 

© 2024 Shamala Tan