Understanding Auditory Sensitivity: A Key to Feeling Safe and Calm

Have you ever found yourself feeling uneasy or even stressed out by certain sounds? Maybe it’s the buzzing of a fluorescent light, the chatter in a crowded room, or the sudden noise of a door slamming. If these experiences sound familiar, you’re not alone. This heightened awareness of sound, known as auditory sensitivity, is something many people experience. And interestingly, it’s not just about your ears—it’s about how your nervous system is wired.

Stephen Porges’ Polyvagal Theory offers some eye-opening insights into why certain sounds make us feel the way we do. Let’s break it down.

Why Sound Can Affect Us So Deeply

Our nervous system is constantly on the lookout for cues of safety or danger. It’s like having an internal radar that’s always scanning our surroundings, even if we’re not consciously aware of it. This process, called neuroception, is how our body decides whether we’re in a safe space or if we need to be on alert.

When we feel safe—thanks to the calming influence of what’s called the ventral vagal system—we’re better at filtering out distracting background noise. We can focus on the things that matter, like the voice of a friend or a favourite song. But when we’re stressed or feeling threatened, our body goes into a different mode. Suddenly, everything seems louder and more intense, as if our ears have become hyper-attuned to every little sound. This is our nervous system’s way of keeping us alert, just in case there’s danger lurking around.

As Porges puts it, "Our nervous system is continuously evaluating risk in the environment, even when we're not consciously aware of it. Sounds play a crucial role in this evaluation process." So, if certain noises make you feel on edge, it’s not just in your imagination—it’s your body’s natural response to what it perceives as a potential threat.

My Personal Experience with Auditory Sensitivity

As someone who is highly sound sensitive and an auditory learner, I’ve always been attuned to the frequencies of voices around me. But it’s not just about being aware—it’s about how these sounds impact me on a deeper level. There are certain voices and tones that feel almost painful to listen to, as if they clash with my own energy. It’s not always easy to explain, but it’s like an inner alarm that goes off when I hear these jarring frequencies.

I’ve noticed that these voices often belong to people who focus on negativity—a lot of chronic complainers who seem stuck in a cycle of discontent. They tend to speak from a frequency that grates on me, making it difficult to spend any more time than absolutely necessary with them. It’s as if their voice carries the weight of their frustrations, and my nervous system reacts defensively.

This isn’t about judging these individuals; it’s simply an observation of how sound and personality can intersect in ways that affect our sense of comfort and safety. Recognising this has helped me set boundaries and create more harmonious environments that support my well-being.

Why Some Sounds Are More Triggering Than Others

Not all sounds have the same impact on us. Low-frequency noises, sudden loud sounds, or unpredictable noises are more likely to make us feel uneasy. Think about how you feel when someone suddenly honks a car horn or slams a door. Even if you know you’re safe, your body might still react with a jolt of anxiety. This is your nervous system kicking into gear, ready to protect you.

On the flip side, sounds that are soothing, rhythmic, or familiar—like a loved one’s voice or calming music—can help us feel more relaxed and connected. That’s because our social engagement system is tuned to pick up on these cues, helping us feel safe and secure.

How to Manage Auditory Sensitivity

So, what can you do if you’re sensitive to noise? First, it’s important to realise that these reactions are completely normal. Your body is just doing its job, trying to keep you safe. If certain sounds make you uncomfortable, it’s not a sign of weakness—it’s your nervous system responding to its environment.

Creating a sense of calm in your environment can really help. This might mean seeking out quieter spaces when you need to concentrate or surrounding yourself with sounds that make you feel good, like nature sounds or your favourite music. Understanding how sound affects your nervous system can also be a valuable tool in your personal development journey, especially if you’re dealing with stress or working through past traumas.

As Porges says, "The ability to feel safe in the presence of others is a critical part of our wellbeing." Sounds play a big role in this process. So, next time you find yourself feeling overwhelmed by noise, take a moment to acknowledge how your body is reacting. Then, think about what you can do to help it calm down—whether that’s stepping outside for a breath of fresh air or simply turning on some music that soothes you.

Understanding auditory sensitivity isn’t just about knowing what sets you off—it’s about learning how to create environments that support your sense of safety and peace. And that, in turn, can help you feel more grounded and centred in your day-to-day life.

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©2024 Shamala Tan