What You Don’t Understand About Your Emotions Could Be Hurting You

We all like to think we’ve got it together. “I’m fine,” you tell yourself. “I know how to handle my emotions.” But here’s the uncomfortable truth: most of us don’t.

And it’s not your fault. You don’t know what you don’t know.

What happens when emotions are ignored, misunderstood, or buried? They don’t magically disappear. They sit quietly in the background, building up pressure until something breaks:

• Your body. Chronic stress and unresolved emotions can manifest as illness, fatigue, or mysterious aches and pains.
• Your mind. Anxiety, depression, or a full-blown mental breakdown becomes the boiling point of unprocessed emotions.
• Your habits. To escape the discomfort, you might numb out with alcohol, lose hours gaming, or endlessly scroll through Netflix.

Sound familiar?

Why This Happens: The Emotional Blind Spot

Most people think they’re managing their emotions just fine because they’ve learnt how to cope, not how to process. There’s a big difference.

Coping often looks like:

• Distracting yourself with work, entertainment, or social media.
• Avoiding the things that trigger uncomfortable feelings.
• “Powering through” with a forced smile.

But here’s the thing: coping is temporary. It doesn’t resolve what’s underneath. And those unresolved emotions? They have a way of showing up later—in your body, your mind, and your choices.

The Cost of Not Knowing

When you don’t know how to properly process your emotions, they control you, not the other way around.

Here’s how it plays out:

• Physical Health Suffers: Chronic stress can suppress your immune system, disrupt sleep, and even contribute to conditions like heart disease or chronic pain.
• Mental Health Breaks Down: Bottled-up emotions can lead to anxiety, depression, or even a sudden emotional breakdown that feels like it came out of nowhere.
• Self-Numbing Becomes a Habit: To avoid facing emotions head-on, you may reach for external distractions—alcohol, binge-watching, endless gaming. These might feel good in the moment but leave you feeling worse in the long run.

No, You Can’t Pray Your Emotions Away

Many people turn to spiritual practices when they’re feeling overwhelmed, which can be incredibly supportive. But here’s the thing: no amount of prayer, affirmations, or meditation can replace doing the work of actually feeling and processing your emotions.

This is where spiritual bypassing comes in—the tendency to use spirituality to avoid difficult emotions or unresolved pain. You might tell yourself, “I’ll just stay positive,” or “I’m handing it over to the Universe.” While faith and positivity are important, they’re not a substitute for facing what’s really going on inside you.

Emotions don’t need to be “fixed” or prayed away. They need to be felt, understood, and worked through. True healing happens when you blend emotional awareness with spiritual tools—not when you use one to avoid the other.

What You Don’t Know Is Hurting You

The problem isn’t that you’re weak or incapable—it’s that no one taught you how to handle emotions in a way that truly works. Most of us weren’t given the tools to process feelings effectively, and as a result, we’ve spent years developing habits that help us avoid them instead.

You don’t have to stay stuck in this cycle.

The Solution: Learning to Process, Not Cope

Handling emotions isn’t about being perfect or never feeling bad—it’s about building the tools to understand and process what’s going on inside you.

Here’s where to start:

1. Stop and Check In
   Most of us move through life on autopilot, never pausing to ask, “What am I really feeling right now?” Take a moment to stop. Breathe. Notice. Name your emotions.

2. Get Curious, Not Judgmental
   Instead of labelling your feelings as “good” or “bad,” ask, “Why am I feeling this way?” Emotions are messengers—they’re trying to tell you something. Listen to them.

3. Take Action That Supports Growth
   Once you’ve identified and understood your emotions, channel them into positive action. Journal, meditate, talk to a trusted friend or therapist, or even try a creative outlet like art or music.

Avoiding the Breakdown

Ignoring emotions doesn’t make them go away. It only delays the inevitable. By learning to process your emotions effectively, you can avoid the physical illnesses, mental breakdowns, and numbing cycles that come from emotional overload.

And no, this doesn’t mean you’ll feel amazing all the time. Processing emotions is messy, sometimes uncomfortable, but always worth it.

So here’s my question for you: Are you ready to stop pretending you’ve got it all handled and actually take back control?

Start small. Take five minutes today to check in with yourself. Write down what you’re feeling. No filters, no judgement—just honesty.

If this resonates, share it with someone who needs this reminder.

Because learning to handle your emotions isn’t just about feeling better—it’s about living better.

Download your free guide on 5 Simple But Challenging Steps to Master Your Emotions HERE

 © 2024 Shamala Tan