Why Healthy Relationships Are So Complex for Wounded People

The Universal Touch of Trauma

Trauma is something that many of us face in life. It can be a small letdown or a big shock. The bigger the hurt, the tougher it can be to get close to others. This is extra hard for people who have deep emotional scars because they might find it hard to trust and open up to others.

The Struggle for Connection Amidst Trauma

When bad things happen, they can mess with our heads and hearts. This makes it tough to build strong and healthy friendships or relationships. People want to feel close to others but also want to keep themselves safe. It's like being pulled in two directions – wanting to be close but scared of getting hurt again.

Rewiring for Protection: The Impact of Trauma

Bad experiences can change the way our brains work. They make us put up walls around our feelings. Our brains start to think staying safe is more important than making friends or falling in love. This means we might keep others away because we're scared of getting hurt.

The High Walls of Distrust and Fear

After getting hurt, people often build up walls. They may feel nervous, find it hard to share feelings, or stay away from relationships altogether. This keeps them safe from pain but also keeps them alone.

The Healing Process: A Path to Healthy Relationships

Getting over trauma takes time. It's about getting to know and accept yourself and learning how to deal with people again. Talking to a counsellor or therapist can help a lot. They can give you tools to feel safe again and help you tell the difference between past hurts and what's happening now.

Embracing Vulnerability with Boundaries

Getting better means you can start to let your guard down a little but still keep your boundaries. This means telling people what you need and what you're scared of, and choosing to be with people who make you feel good about yourself.

Spirituality and Inner Strength

Many people find that being spiritual helps them heal. Doing things like meditating or praying can make you feel calm and connected to the world. This can be a big help when you're trying to get over past hurts.

Self-Compassion: The Balm for Healing

Being kind to yourself is a big part of healing. It's about treating yourself with the same care you would give a good friend. When you're nice to yourself, you help heal your own heart, which makes it easier to connect with others.

Understanding why healthy relationships are so complex for wounded people begins with recognizing the profound impact of trauma. It is a shared yet uniquely personal challenge that requires patience, resilience, and the right support to overcome. For those who recognize themselves in this struggle, reaching out is the first step toward change.

For more help and advice, please get in touch with me by booking your therapeutic session via email or check out my website. Let's take this journey together and find our way back to feeling connected and happy with others.

© 2024 Shamala Tan