Why We Resist Challenging What’s Presented

In Part 1, we celebrated the power of asking questions as a way to move beyond a simple, black-and-white view of life. Yet, even with all the benefits of asking questions, many of us hesitate to challenge what is presented to us. In this second part, I explore why so many of us prefer the comfort of familiar answers instead of facing the uncertainty that comes with deeper questioning. (Check out part 1 if you have not read it yet)

The Pull of What Is Familiar

For many people, there is a strong pull towards what is known. Ideas we have always heard and routines we follow give us a sense of stability that is hard to leave behind. In a world that can feel unpredictable, having clear, familiar answers is very comforting. When we see ideas that fit neatly into our old categories, there seems to be little reason to disturb them by asking questions. I have noticed that this need for comfort often makes us stick with easy answers, even if those answers do not tell the whole story.

The Challenge of Facing the Unknown

Questions naturally push us into new and unfamiliar territory. To ask “why?” means we may have to face the possibility that our long-held beliefs are incomplete or even wrong. This can be very difficult, as it may require us to change the way we see the world. The uncertainty that comes with such challenges can be very unsettling. It is much simpler to accept a basic, straightforward answer than to deal with a more complex and perhaps unsettling reality.

This reluctance is not only about not wanting to think deeply—it is also a strong emotional reaction. When we question something we have always taken for granted, it can feel like we are shaking the very ground beneath us. The fear of losing our sense of security, or of upsetting the order we are used to, is a strong reason why many of us avoid deeper questions.

How Social Conditioning Plays a Part

From a young age, we are taught to trust the opinions of our parents, teachers, and community leaders. This early lesson can make it seem like certain ideas should never be questioned. In many cases, asking tough questions is seen as a sign of defiance or disrespect. The fear of causing a disagreement or being seen as insolent means many people choose to stick with what they already know rather than risk a challenging conversation.

I have often seen that the pressure to agree with common views is very strong. The worry about being left out or facing conflict makes many of us stay quiet. Even though this tendency to agree might seem harmless, it stops us from engaging in the open debate that is necessary for personal growth and social progress.

Unfortunately, I have found that many people view debate as mere argument. They see everything as simply right or wrong, and lack the emotional maturity to accept differing opinions. As a result, when I try to engage in a healthy debate for growth, my intentions are often misunderstood as trying to prove a point. This leads to conversations stalling, with no room for real progress or depth. Relationships should evolve, but when conversations remain superficial, I end up distancing myself from these groups.

The Risk Involved in Change

When we question the status quo, we are in effect inviting change. Even if this change could lead to growth, it always comes with some risk. Many people prefer to hold on to the safety of what is known, even if that means missing out on the chance to learn and evolve. The idea of disturbing our comfortable and familiar way of thinking is simply too risky for some.

Yet, by avoiding change, we also miss many opportunities to expand our knowledge and grow as individuals and as a society. I believe that being willing to accept change by having the courage to ask questions is not just an intellectual exercise—it is a key part of living a full and dynamic life.

Breaking Down the Barriers to Inquiry

So, how can we overcome this deep-seated fear of questioning? The first step is to see curiosity as a good thing rather than a threat. Start with small, safe questions in your everyday life. Whether you are having a quiet moment on your own or talking with someone you trust, try to ask questions that gently dig a bit deeper into the subject at hand. Over time, these small steps can help break down the mental walls that keep us stuck in our old ways of thinking.

It is also important to create environments—at home, at work, or in our communities—where curiosity and open conversation are valued. When we celebrate the act of asking questions and view uncertainty as a chance to learn, we give ourselves the power to face the unknown with confidence. I have found that when I allow myself to be open to new ideas, even if they challenge my usual way of thinking, I gain a richer and more balanced view of the world.

Although it may seem easier to accept things at face value, our reluctance to ask questions limits our ability to grow. By understanding the reasons behind our resistance—the comfort of familiar ideas, the fear of the unknown, the influence of early teachings, and the risks of change—we can begin to break down these barriers. This process not only broadens our own minds but also helps create a more thoughtful and open society.

Next time you feel tempted to settle for a simple answer, remember that having the courage to ask “why?” might be the key to a deeper and more rewarding understanding of life. Embrace your curiosity, challenge the familiar, and step boldly into the unknown.

© 2025 Shamala Tan